Final Thoughts and Last Words

Coming up on 10 hours, and all I can think is "Holy #%*&! I get married today." Its. A bit overwhelming, I'm not gonna lie. Several times last night, Linda suggested we stop and soak it all in. And we did try, but I'm not sure you really can.

So here I am. In maui, on a balcony at 7am. Not because I'm nervous, but because I've been through 5 time zones in the last 48 hours. (I'll explain later.) So I decided to recap all tbhat I have learned.

1. Get involved with the whole thing, but don't take over.
2. Pick your battles. Fight for what's important to you and let the rest go. But be prepared to defend your position repeatedly if necessary.
3. Don't make your own invitations. (Pro Tip!)
4. Be prepared for anything, and I mean anything. She can go from happy to sad to irrate at a monents notice. (I suggest you pack dramamine to counteract the emotional waves.)
5. Remember that people aren't really coming to see you, so do your job and stay out of the way.
6. Rings are expensive. So start saving as soon as you know she's the one. And pay cash if you can.
7. No one is really there for you. Single dudes can't relate, and married guys only want to laugh at you. I suggest finding another engaged guy for support.
8. Remember throughout it all, that there is someone who out of there own free will is promising to hold you down for life.... Don't mess it up.

I didn't do as much with this blog as I intenionally set out to, but its all good. I hope this list covers the bulk of it all as I have seen it. Just know that in my final moments of calm, in the eye of this wedding hurricane, I did this. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go run head first into danger.... See you on the other side.

Coming up on it now...15 days until I become WE. I gotta say, its a bit nerve wracking. Not the "I do" part, because clearly I did a long time ago. The everything after that has me upset. Like being able to provide for a family scares me. Like I got laid off 2 years ago, and I was struggling eating top ramen everyday to stay alive. Imagining that happening again while with a wife and kid scares me to death.

Other than that, I'm in a zone... just on a whole another level. Like you can't find me. I have turned into a rea life Where's Waldo. Friends have called. Friends have sent texts, friends have emailed. But I'm just gone. I'm not purposely trying to ignore them, its just my focus has changed. I'm all wedding at this point. I feel like a horse with blinders on.

We Need a Montage (Part Deux)

So, as I left you earlier, the Future Wife, which is what I call her because I think fiance is a dumb word (and sounds eerily close to Beyonce to 5 year olds), Ikea Table Legged me over her engagement ring. Not gonna lie, it kinda sucked. But I didn't cry (too much) and got over it (meaning I bring it up every chance I get). But apologies to Mrs. Ellis and Gold who were so excited, they couldn't wait to get started helping me plan the proposal. Side note: On the real? Those two ladies are diabolical, borderline Machiavellian with their schemes. Don't cross them. Ever.

So after that came color schemes, save the dates, and invitations. For any dudes that read this, PAY THE MONEY! Don't try to get cute and do them yourselves. Save yourself the heartache and endless trips to Paper Source. Learn from me... I don't care how nice you are on illlustrator, she won't like anything. She won't know what she does like, she just will know that whatever you just created wasn't it. Plus, no one really cares what they look like except future brides. Its like a strange "anything you can do I can do better" move, except everyone only goes once. They pull Lebron's and take mental notes on everything some other bride did. And then they vow to crush that bride's wedding. Its the female version of cars, pools, tvs, and riding lawn mowers times a thousand and compressed into one day.

So I think that's it. You are now officially caught up. I believe there are other things to come. But before I go, shout outs to Mrs. Diaz and the rest of the ladies at the San Jose Paper Source store. Thank you for being understanding, helpful, and for not laughing at me on one of my many visits.

Funny How Time Flies...

Wow... it is really dusty in here. I apologize for my absence. I failed magnificently in keeping this thing updated, and for that I'm sorry. But since we are here now and I can't fix the past, let me see if I can't montage us to the present.

Got permission, over a nice dinner at Outback. I have done some pretty scary things, but nothing is more harrowing than sitting across the table from two people who's little girl you are trying to marry. I also heard many different elaborate plans of actual proposal, not to mention the amount of youtube videos I watched trying to cobble together something unique. But it was from her step-dad that I got the best advice on how to do it. He looked me square in the eye and said, "Just get down on one knee and ask her already!" So I did.

I immediately drove over to her apartment and waited. When she came home we exchanged pleasantries, and when she turned her back towards me she asked, "So what's new?" I dropped to my knee, pulled out the ring and said, "Oh... just this." She turned around and BAM! Engagement ring all up in her face. She started fanning her face and then she tackled me. It was several minutes later when she said yes. And everything was good, until she Ikea Table Legged me.

Dun, dun, DUNNNNNNNN! Cliffhanger! More to come in the next few days, so stay tuned....

"What Are You Doing?"

Is what my inner voice was telling me, but was quickly ignored. I mean it only makes sense that all my internal alarms would be going off. I mean no criminal would volunteer to be on death row, so why would I being of sound mind and body, sentence my single life to execution?

Yet here I was, standing at the counter of the jewelry store while the nice saleswoman was showing me diamonds. Quick tangent, but have you ever noticed that in a room, you don't jump nearly as high on a bed as you do on the ground? Where your brain is like "What the heck are you doing? I'm not gonna let you kill yourself..." That's what it was like for me standing at the counter. Half of me had my feet planted firmly on the floor ready to jump, while the other half was standing on the bed prepared to only take a half hearted leap.

Floor Jumping Bobby is like Usain Bolt, sprinting head first towards marriage. He loves the idea of going to bed and waking up next to the same person forever. Whereas Bed Jumping Bobby wasn't quite as committed to taking that giant leap.

So they argued. Well it's more like I argued, but the two halves and everything... you get the point. So in the end, standing at the counter, Floor Jumper won. I paid for the ring, although my mom commented that was the "shakiest she had ever seen my hand" when I was signing the receipt.

And all was well until I realized that I had to ask her parents permission...

Hello...

I would welcome you here, but since we are celebrating the end of someone's life, I doubt pleasant greetings are in order. I'm Bobby, and this is my blog that documents my struggles in engagement. I am writing this so that future generations will be both better equipped and capable of handling the potential pitfalls of engagementhood. (not a word... I understand.) I am constantly changing things so please check back often.